Monday, December 31, 2001
Top 10 Events in my Life of 2001
10. Receiving the Book of Mormon from Derek
9. Going Siteseeing in Chicago with Craig (who probably will think my life is pretty shitty if I put him in the top ten. So don't even try it, I've already acknowledged that you will say that.)
8. Getting to work for Sanrio, then losing job because of psychobitch manager who didn't have that "Sanrio Smile" if you ask me
7. Tie: Getting job in Adult Toy Store/Being able to say "Dildo" without giggling
6. Eric's Birthday Party
5. Going to Cleveland with Nicole to see Sloan (and all the subsequent Sloaniness that followed)
4. Jeff Tweedy telling me I'm not obnoxious
3. meeting Sooz and Chazz
2. Meeting Clare
1. Tie:Leaving Wisconsin/Giving John Stirratt my number
2002: Does it Have a Media Created Nickname Yet?
I have no resolutions this year, I think I am pretty perfect. Actually, I'm going to cancel out a past one. No, I'm not going back to biting my fingernails, I'm going to go back to my heathen habit of blowing the straw wrapper off the straw. Don't say I didn't warn you. Vote in the new poll, while you're at it.
Saturday, December 29, 2001
Top 10 Names for the Male Organ As Seen on Packages in an Adult Toy Store
10.Penis
9.Peter
8.Dick
7.Dickey
6.Willy
5.Dicky
4.Pecker
3.Unit
2.Dong
1.Male Organ
Dude!
Somebody please stop me next time I post to this thing in a drunken stupor, It's just not all that entertaining. I appologize to my dear readers, and promise to make it up to you with my next, oh so hilarious posting.
Friday, December 28, 2001
Sorry, I'm Taken...
in 2 years, anyway. Everyone I made one of those "If I'm not married by age" whatever agreements, they are all null and void, as you've been undersold by me starting a family by age 27 with someone else. However, sperm donor applications are now being accepted. Members of Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young need not apply. Just email for the 43 page pre-application.
Hooray for Vibrators!
I've been working part time in my friendly neighborhood sex shop, and failing miserably at getting a full time job. So X-Mas Eve, A supervisor at work gives me cash and a really expensive vibrator (the green one pictured here) and told me not to tell. Being the honest lass that I am, I told. He gets fired, and I get his full time position, and get to keep the vibrator (I'm giving the cash back). So as long as he doesn't come try to kill me, I'm fine.
Thursday, December 27, 2001
Paradigm Shift
so, alluva sudden in drunken state I realize what matters to me. And I think i know what I have to do to keep my life on track. How is that people that I've only know for months suddenly mean more to me than people who have been, by blood, there for me my entire lives? Even Glen Kotche, banging on bowls tonite means more than anything I knew years ago. All those people who let me down, and said they were there for me but where the hell are they now? l I know I'm gonna get this worked out, and we're all gonna live happily ever after. Good always prevails right?
Tuesday, December 25, 2001
Jesus is the Reason...
On this lovely holiday of gift giving, let us not forget the reason for it:Jesus, the cool deity who is featured on this statue "To remind children that Jesus is with them always. A contemporary statue for today's youth. Jesus is with us in everything we do, watching over us & involved in all of our acts & activities". Brought to you buy
Catholic Supply
Best Christmas Eve Ever!
There's nothing like spending Christmas Eve with good friends, drinking delicious coffee beverages, going to punk rock bars trying to guess people's genders, eating enchiladas and speaking really bad Spanish, and looking like Eddie Vedder. That's what the season is all about! However, I forgot Mistletoe. oops.
Monday, December 24, 2001
Dear Santa,
I've been really naughty, trust me. Don't even bother. Maybe next year...
The Pheromone Experiment
We sell Pheramones at my place of employment. It's confusing, since we have then for men (to attract women), women (to attract men)and gay men. I was wondering if I wore the straight male version, if I'd attract straight women, or the gay male version I would get guys buying me drinks all night at Spin. I opted to sample the straight women version.
First of all, it smells NASTY. I bundled up in my coat and scarf and was worried this would cover up my pheramones. My testing ground was local grocery store Dominicks, at midnight. No major encounters, until I get to the checkout. My cashier, Steve, wished me a Merry Christmas. I said "Thanks, but I'll probably be back tomorrow anyway." He gave me
really friendly smile. Not that I would really
want Steve hanging out under the mistletoe. I'm not sure if I should call this a success or not. And did I mention it smells NASTY?
Saturday, December 22, 2001
I am Here...
More Ugly Nerds?
I suppose you're going to try to tell me Jeff Tweedy looks like an ugly nerd too? You better think twice, alleged webmaster :P
Note:He has called him an ugly DORK...hmmm
Lack of Anything Interesting Today...
Actually, I guess wearing a gimp mask and being handcuffed at work is interesting to most people, but it's just becoming old hat to me now. I need a change of scenary.
Friday, December 21, 2001
I Could Have Been an Egyptologist...
Let's see if we can trick Yahoo! into thinking this site is all about Egyptology.
Click here then go to suggest a site. I'd go the route that's free, and not $299.99. If a lot of people tell them it's about Egyptology, then they won't want to look dumb and say otherwise, right?
Hurrah, we have POLLS!!
Over there
<~~~~~
X-Mas Music Doesn't Have to Suck
If you are on my Xmas List, you may get a copy of this...
1.Everything's Gonna Be Cool This Christmas - the Eels
2.Christmas Again - Aimme Mann & Michael Penn
3.O Come O Come Emmanuel - Belle and Sebastian
4.Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer - Less than Jake
5.Silent Night - Bad Religion
6.Christmas (Baby Please Come Home) - U2
7.Christmas Wrappings - The Waitresses
8.Merry Christmas (I Don't Wanna Fight) - Ramones
9.Frosty the Snowman - Cocteau Twins
10.Thanks For Christmas - 3 Wise Men aka XTC
11.2000 Miles - the Pretenders
12.Ballad of New York - Pogues w/ Christy McColl
13.Little Drummer Boy - Tori Amos
14.Christmas Time Has Come -Smashing Pumpkins
15.Little Drummer Boy - Dandy Warhols
16.Silver Bells - R.E.M.
17.Homo Christmas - Pansy Division
18.Jul Det Cool - MC Einar
MC Einar being the annoying guy from the Sugarcubes. It absolutely rules...
Thursday, December 20, 2001
Website War!!
The Alleged Webmaster of
the Lifting claims Ryan Adams looks like "An ugly nerd" in this picture. I have to disagree!
Thanks for Your Concern...
I think my level of exposure is just right!
Hello,
I have visited crunchpop.tripod.com and noticed that your website is not listed on some search engines. I am sure that through our service the number of people who visit your website will definitely increase. SeekerCenter is a unique technology that instantly submits your website to over 500,000 search engines and directories -- a really low-cost and effective way to advertise your site. For more details please go to SeekerCenter.net.
Give your website maximum exposure today!
Looking forward to hearing from you.
Incentive to "Sign My Slambook"
It now plays a midi file of the Star Wars Imperial March. Midi files are way cool.
Wednesday, December 19, 2001
My Job is Fun
I had to fix the computer at work so the manager could download and print porn. He offered me even more off my generous 50% off discount, just in time for holiday shopping! Get those lists in to me, ASAP.
Carl Hardwick...slightly edited for a family page, but that's the pic in question.
CGI, anyone?
I'm trying to add a nifty commenty doodad so all my faithful readers can comment as they see fit, however, I am just a tinkerer when it comes to CGI, so I was wondering if anyone would like to help me out? You'll get a prize, or something.
Look Ma, No Ads!
Actually, if my ma was looking at this page, I'd be a bit frightened. Now you no longer have to deal with that annoying popup. However, if anyone wants to sponsor me for $4.95 a month, please send the $$ to me via my
Paypal Account with my user email as crunchpop@hotmail.com and you'll get a special 'shout out' on the page here...
I love you too Justin :P
>Kinda funny....while I was lookin at your page the mp3 disc I had on
>suddenly started playing dueling banjos from Deliverence
>
Tuesday, December 18, 2001
That's an Oopsie!
I almost put Preparation H on a cut instead of Neosporin.
Jay Bennett Actually Appears at Show he's Booked For
To the surprise of audience members at last night's "Santa Is Real" concert at the Hideout in Chicago, IL, Jay Bennett actually showed up and played a few songs. "You mean he's really here?" commented and incredulous fan after being told his soundcheck went fine. While not as sexy as Jeff Tweedy, his more traditional sounding songs seemed to go over quite well, laced with lots of witty stage banter.
On a related note, current Wilco member LeRoy Bach was chastised for leaving Mike Mills out of a namecheck of people with recent birthdays. He was quickly set straight by an admitted "recovering Mills groupie".
An Oh So Serious Item Here...
screw you sappiness :P
Monday, December 17, 2001
Winona's High Profile Exes Blame Current Affair with Canadian Indie Rocker for Downfall
Friends close to Winona Ryder, arrested last week for shoplifting, has recently been linked with
Cathoraytubes leader
Johnny Los Angeles. "He's not the high profile Grammy winner she ususally goes for," says ex
Adam Duritz. "Frankly, we're all a little shocked. I wouldn't be surprised if hanging out with that Canuck, drinking Molson and listening to Sloan is what drove her to steal. Man, it would make me nuts."
Tabloids recently reported Ryder and LosAngeles "getting cozy" over chicken and ribs at Swiss Chalet.
Dildos and Vibrators = Not the Same Thing
I am still surprised by the number of people who come into the sex shop where I work, go back to the dildo case, and ask for the vibrating ones. "You mean the Vibrators?" I ask. "Those are in the front 7 cases. The ones that don't look like ugly veiney penises, and are pretty colors with bunnies and beavers." People, research these things before you make a mistake and end up with nothing but an ugly rubber penis, which does nothing for your clit!
Sunday, December 16, 2001
Alt Rockers Rally Around New Cause, Record Single
Musical Ex-Boyfriends of Actress Winona Ryder have united to record a benefit single to contribute to her legal defense fund following last week's shoplifting arrest. The wayward starlet has been romantically linked to
Johnny Depp of the band
P,
Adam Duritz of
Counting Crows,
Dave Pirner of
Soul Asylum, alt.country heartthrob
Ryan Adams, and
Beck, who most people have actually heard of in his own right. The five chose the song "Winona" by
Matthew Sweet, who was not asked to be on the single. Commented Adams, "Yeah, man, that whole thing is creepy. The dude never even really slept with Winona. But he wrote this fucking song about her." The single, to be released next week on
No Limits Records will see all proceeds (minus fees to maintain Duritz's fake dreadlocks) go to paying legal fees for hotshot lawyer
Dave Sanchez for Ms. Ryder's legal defense.
Saturday, December 15, 2001
The Gift That Keeps on Giving
Amongst all the gifts and cards I've received in the past week, I must say the Book of Mormon sent on behalf of Derek today was quite...useful? Them Mormons is weird! Derek, let me just thank you for
NOT sending them out for a home visit.
sorry to any mormons I may have offended, you'd probably find my book pretty weird.
Friday, December 14, 2001
Top 5 of 2001
I think the year in music is sufficiently over, allowing me to post my top 5 favorite albums released this year. I've decided Wilco's
Yankee Hotel Foxtrot shouldn't be ellgible until next year, when it sees official release. Now, on with the countdown (cue Casey Kasem)
5.
Satellite Rides-Old 97s
4.
Gold-Ryan Adams
3.
Get Ready-New Order
2.
Pretty Together-Sloan
1.
One Nil-Neil Finn
#1 wasn't even release in the US. The record industry sucks, dude.
My top pick for reissue would have to be the beautifully remastered
Rio by Duran Duran.
Image Problems
I don't know what the deal with Tripod is, but sometimes the pictures are showing up, sometimes they aren't. I sent them a friendly non-threatening email informing them of the problem, so we shall see what happens. In the meantime, imagine the images. I know you can do it.
Actress Winona Ryder Arrested for Shoplifting in LA
By Sarah Tippit
BEVERLY HILLS (Reuters) - Oscar-nominated actress Winona Ryder, who
specializes in portraying troubled young women, was arrested on Wednesday
night at a posh Beverly Hills department store for allegedly shoplifting
$5,000 worth of clothing, police said on Thursday.
In a related story, Lost Highway has just announced that next week Ryan
Adams will be releasing a new single entitled "My Ex Winona Is In Jail."
When asked about the timing behind relasing such a song Adams said, "It's
just an amazing coincidence, really. The song is actually about a car I
used to have when I was in high school, but when I was rehearsing it I just
started shouting 'my ex Winona is in jail' for the chorus and it sort of
stuck."
A video accompanying the song will also be released to MTV next week a
spokesperson said. The video is said to show assorted clips of Adams
accompanying Ryder to assorted Hollywood award shows. To maintain his
street cred, Adams face is never shown and he most appears just barely on
the side of the frame, occasionally being obscured by Joan Rivers.
As Reported on the Postcards from Hell Mailing List, a WAY reliable news source
Mmmmm....Tweedy
Jeff Tweedy pauses mid concert to get his Sam 'O' Rama update.
thanks to sooz for capturing the moment...
